Deep down, most of us want to see ourselves as the hero and we need to keep that in mind as we write SDR copy. 

When we watch the Olympics, we fantasize about sticking a perfect landing like Simone Biles or gliding past the competition like Michael Phelps. When we watch an action movie, we immerse ourselves in how it would feel to save the world from that asteroid.

That’s why it’s so easy for us to put ourselves and our company at the center of our marketing: Our instinct is to paint ourselves as the hero. But for effective SDR copy, you need to quit focusing on yourself and start focusing on your prospects–because they, too, want to be the hero!

Here are a few quick shifts you can make in your SDR emails to make sure that you are centering your message around the prospect rather than around yourself.

#1 – Avoid this: “We get great results!”

There are two big problems with this phrase: 1) It is incredibly vague, and 2) It makes you the hero.

This and similar phrases break the classic writing advice “Show, don’t tell!” In other words, the lack of specific details makes it difficult for the prospect to envision the results that you claim to get. 

Don’t tell us how great you are, give a specific example that shows your prospect how they can benefit. One of the most effective ways to do this is through a case study. But in using a case study, you might be tempted by another phrase to avoid in SDR emails…

#2 – Avoid this: “We helped our client….”

You want to focus on what the client was able to achieve, not on what you did. You want the prospective client to identify with your past clients’ problems and how they overcame them, not just on how you were the hero.

Try this instead: “Our client [did a super cool thing] after they partnered with us!”

This phrase works because it sets your prospect up to relate to the success that your previous client had. You’re positioning your brand as an empowering force that allows your client to move the dial.

#3 – Avoid sounding like this: “Our RPAs upload the latest commit and repair all malfunctioning pipeline code!”

Jargon, jargon, and more jargon. Chances are decent that your prospect doesn’t know what any of that means, and they don’t especially care to learn.

Particularly if your company does something technical, what the prospect does want to know is how your service will eliminate a pain point. Focus on your benefits rather than your features.

Try this instead: “You can focus on ___ without worrying about ___!”

Or this: “You’ll never have to _____ again with our ____.”

(You might even stop after “again!”)

These options, both of which start with “you” rather than “we,” focus on the benefits you offer to clients rather than on the technical aspects of your company.

Learning to center your client in your SDR can be a difficult paradigm shift. If your company wants to start winning at the SDR, drop us a line!